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Kamala Harris is at your doorFollow

#1 Aug 14 2020 at 7:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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1,159 posts
Knock knock, the sound of bone on wood. You risk a peep out of the keyhole - and see an eye staring back.

You'd recognise that iris anywhere. It's Harris.

You stagger back, breathing hard. Your eyes dart here and there, bulging like ripe frogspawn as they search for a way out. Seconds slip away while you stand, rooted by panic, and all the while the Reaper-man is pulling back his grisly scythe, ready for the harvest.

A raven quoths croakily outside the window. An auto-tuned banshee screams your name into the night.

Knock knock. She won't ask again. You hear the wet plat plat of great gobs of saliva splattering on the ground outside - if you don't want your bones licked clean, you best do something. Fast.

What do you do?
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Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#2 Aug 14 2020 at 8:29 AM Rating: Good
GBATE!! Never saw it coming
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9,923 posts
...............................................vote for Bernie?
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remorajunbao wrote:
One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

#3 Aug 14 2020 at 9:12 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
> GET LANTERN
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4 Aug 14 2020 at 10:47 AM Rating: Excellent
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1,159 posts
>..............................................vote for Bernie?

Hastily, you complete your mail in vote for Bernie. Just as you're licking the envelope, Harris staves in the door with one might blow of her clawed fist. Backing away, you hold the letter between you like a priest with a crucifix.

"I'm a Bernie bro!" you cry, wetting yourself (as Bernie bros are wont to do).

But neither the caustic smell of **** nor the envelope stop her. Her skin burns as it brushes against your Bernie vote, but she just laughs - an awful, hacking gurgle. Then she takes your wrist in her hand and squeezes until the bones snap and pop.

"I have a huge stick," she gargles, eyes glued to your jugular.

The last thing you see is her jaw, unhinged and rushing forwards....

You are dead. Better luck next election.

> GET LANTERN

You get a lantern. Jesus. You really are living in the past, aren't you? You might consider letting the humble torch - I mean, flashlight - into your life. If you still have one after tonight.

The lantern is hot in your hand. Outside, Harris is sharpening her claws. There isn't much time left.
____________________________
Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#5 Aug 14 2020 at 11:27 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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16,779 posts
>kneel
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#6 Aug 14 2020 at 11:42 AM Rating: Excellent
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1,159 posts
Woah, let's keep this PG.
____________________________
Timelordwho wrote:
I'm not quite sure that scheming is an emotion.
#7 Aug 14 2020 at 8:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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50,767 posts
> KILL DRAGON
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#8 Aug 16 2020 at 4:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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61 posts
> Post New Thread

Because **** is dead ever since Joph advertised the Discord
#9 Aug 16 2020 at 11:13 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
Velicenda wrote:
Because **** is dead ever since Joph advertised the Discord

What's this "ever since" shit?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Aug 17 2020 at 7:32 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,779 posts
Kavekkk wrote:
Woah, let's keep this PG.

A diversion?

This is Zam. Only G/PG may enter.

____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#11 Aug 21 2020 at 8:37 AM Rating: Good
GBATE!! Never saw it coming
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9,923 posts
KAVEKKK!!

Why did you quit this storyline, you douche?
____________________________
remorajunbao wrote:
One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

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